Archive for December 2012

The Kittie and Tall-Gorgeous-Step-Daughter talk. A lot. And they also spend their time telling us that our choice in television programming needs improvement. The odd part is that they want us to watch things like The Vampire Diaries and The Walking Dead. Strange from a pair of girls (16 and 25 respectfully) that want to wear princess crowns.

Anyway, Hub was 100% out on The Vampire Diaries. However the girls did convince him that The Walking Dead was something we needed to watch.

KITTIE: Dad. Let’s watch The Walking Dead!

HUB: No.

KITTIE: We always watch your stupid shows! And you already have three seasons to watch so can we watch it, please?

HUB: Why?

KITTIE: It’s gross and cool.

HUB: Like your mom?

ME: WHAT THE FUCK?

So we agree to watch the first season which is inexplicably only six episodes. It didn’t take long for me to be completely bored and Hub to point out glaring tactical errors being made by the main character. But we pushed through the first six.

I told Tall-Gorgeous-Step-Daughter that we had started watching and in her typical fashion she did three things…. 1. She clapped, 2. She told me that I should **JUST WAIT** for the end of season three, and 3. started asking questions that gave away information on episodes we haven’t seen yet.

TGSD: Do you love it? I love it! I was so sad when the third season ended! This is great! We’ll be able to talk about season four.

ME: I’m not going to make it to season four.

TGSD: YES YOU ARE! You have to! Did you see when Carl got shot?

ME: Who’s Carl?

TGSD: Wait. You said you watched all of season one.

ME: I did. I really wasn’t paying attention.

TGSD: C’mon!!! Carl is Rick and Lori’s son.

ME: He gets shot?

TGSD: OH yeah that’s in season 2.

ME: Stop talking.

We are now about 1/2 way through season two. Carl got shot but lived. Lori’s a whore. I hate her. Also…. the make up on the zombies is really nifty. I’m quite impressed w/ that. (I admit to one part making me actually feel pretty grossed out which is rare for me.) And then the DISCOVERY of the century….. the actor who plays the lead character Rick (Andrew Lincoln) IS BRITISH!!!! WTF???? Ok so I forgive his awful southern accent. Since his real accent is the balls.


If you drive a truck marked “UPS”, “FedEx”, or “DHL” and are in my area BE WARNED.  That crazy person chasing your truck means business.

The best part of SPENDING money online is bouncing from one foot to the other waiting for the package dump. (I said dump.)

I could literally never stop Christmas shopping. And now with this internet invention I don’t even have to get dressed to go shopping any more.

HUB: What are you doing?

ME: Looking at these shirts for the Kittie.

HUB: I thought you were done Christmas shopping.

ME: I am.

HUB: (Peering over my shoulder) Then why are you on Zappos again? You have seven tabs open.

ME: Shhh I have to COMPARE and CONTRAST.

HUB: I would appreciate it if you kept your word about shopping. We agreed that we were done shopping for her. She’s going to have a great Christmas.

ME: Shut the hell up, Scrooge. She *needs* this.

HUB: Don’t add one more thing to your cart.

ME: Don’t watch. Hey do me a favor… I need your American Express card.

For some reason he got really mad so I saved the cart and waited til he got in the shower and then I bought the stuff. He asked me AGAIN this morning if I was finished shopping. Of course I said  yes.

WHERE ARE MY PACKAGES??????????????

How pissed is my Hub gonna be when he gets home…cos I’m thinkin’ the living room will resemble this: