Archive for January 2014

I had a pretty good end of the month. However, I’ve had eating fail lately and need to renew my focus on what I’m actually preparing for meals. Mix it up with some more greens and fruits.

Anyway…..here’s my workouts from the last half of the month:

15-Jan: Volume 4
16-Jan: Ab sculpt
17-Jan: rest day
18-Jan: Firm Parts 5-day-abs (V4)
19-Jan: Firm Parts Upper Body
20-Jan: rest day
21-Jan: Cardio Dance Slim Down
22-Jan: rest day
23-Jan: BSS1 Body Sculpt
24-Jan: BSS1 Ab Sculpt
25-Jan: BSS1 Cardio Sculpt
26-Jan: rest day
27-Jan: rest day
28-Jan: Volume 4
29-Jan: Firm Parts 5-day-abs (V6)
30-Jan: Body Sculpt Blaster
21-Jan: rest day

Tomorrow is the first of February and I’m doing the entire month using a rotation consisting only the Original 6 Firm Workouts. WISH ME LUCK!

The FIRM - Volume 2

The FIRM – Volume 2

The eleven Triple Crown winners:

Sir Barton, 1919

Sir Barton, 1919

Gallant Fox, 1930

Gallant Fox, 1930

Omaha, 1935

Omaha, 1935

War Admiral, 1937

War Admiral, 1937

 

Whirlaway, 1941

Whirlaway, 1941

Count Fleet, 1943

Count Fleet, 1943

 

Assault, 1946

Assault, 1946

Citation, 1948

Citation, 1948

 

Secretariat, 1973

Secretariat, 1973

 

Seattle Slew, 1977

Seattle Slew, 1977

 

Affirmed, 1978

Affirmed, 1978

Budweiser’s Super Bowl commercial has been leaked. So I cried.

Why do they want to do this to me? I watch these commercials and cry.

But I do love it. And puppies. And Clydesdales.

Which leads me to a story about cops. (That happens a lot for some reason.)

My sister-in-law is a super talented writer and enjoys Dallas Stars hockey. She’s basically my best friend and I have been screwing her brother for twenty years so it works out well.

When the Stars won the Stanley Cup we went to the rally at Reunion Arena (RIP) and because I’m a part-time germ-a-phobe and won’t use public restrooms or open doors by hand in public places she essentially let me into the rally and also carried my pop to our seats because the girl at the concession stand seemed questionable in the area of cleanliness.

Until we got outside.

There were approximately 234,320 people out there and a whole posse of mounted Dallas Policemen were there to keep us in control. We exited the building and there were five mounted officers on patrol. (We are hockey fans, so, checking was possible at any moment.)

In the center was a lovely Clydesdale. Perfect choice for the work. Large. Intimidating. Steady.

I said, “EEEEEE! Horses!” Michelle followed me saying something along the lines of “really come on damn!”

We arrived at the steeds and I looked at the cop and said, “HI!!!!!! I know he’s working but please can I say hello to your horse?”

The cop said, “Sure. Be quick.”

I said, “I will. I have to kiss him. He’s perfect and working and I love him.”

The cop said, “Um. What about me??”

I laughed. And then mouth kissed this beautiful horse. I turned around and there was Michelle making this face:

She was pretty annoyed.

She was pretty annoyed.

And she said, “You can’t open a door in a public place but you can kiss a horse. Fuck you, Nickie.”

I’ve been on my own in public when I’m alone with Michelle ever since.

I indulged myself today with a bag of popcorn.

And out fell a small brain.

Ok it was popcorn but it looked like a brain.

I'm concerned about the violent removal of the spinal cord.

I’m concerned about the violent removal of the spinal cord.

I have such an interesting life.

 

Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner. One of my favorite movies. If you’ve never seen it I highly recommend it. I recently forced the Kittie to watch it with me (because it was made before 1990 she resisted) and since then she’s been in possession of my DVD copy. It’s just that good.

GUESSWHOSCOMING

 

Conversations I have had recently that make me want to kill myself:

Me: What kind of fish is the special today?
Waitress: It’s grilled.
Me: Yes but what kind? Is it tilapia? Trout?
Waitress: It’s white. And grilled.
Me: So it’s whitefish? Cod?
Waitress: (pausing) It’s white.
Me: Forget the fish….

woman-crying-378x348

Next….

Broad: That’s a very pretty horse.
Me: Yes indeed. Lovely action to his movement.
Broad: Very prancy.
Me: I do so love the equine.
Broad: Oh! Is that the breed?
Me: (straight face) No. That’s the taxonomic name for a horse.
Broad: Tax uuh what?
Me: Taxonomic. Equine for horse. Bovine for cow. Feline for cat. Canine for dog.
Broad: Oh!

Asinine. This conversation.

13712516-businesswoman-pulling-hair-out

Someone rescue me.

Me: Nothing loud on the television tonight please.
Hub: I don’t want to watch something stupid. Quiet movies are stupid.
Me: If you want to watch movies all night rather than sleep that’s your problem. I want to sleep. Let’s limit the explosions.
Hub: How do you feel about screaming?
Me: Come on.
Hub: Cannon fire?
Me: I’m going to divorce you.
Hub: Ooohhh! Starship Troopers.
Me: Pick any fucking thing else! Except Die Hard. You’ve watched it three times this month already. Enough of Die Hard.
Hub: You are so mean.
Me: Just go to sleep!
Hub: Fine. I’ll watch this.
Me: <sighing> Are you kidding? This is Die Harder!
Hub: You said no Die Hard. This is not Die Hard.

I hate you.

hockey

 

I really meant to post yesterday. I did.

I was thinking something interesting would happen. I left the house and everything.

However before I could collect my thoughts I realized the Stars were about to play the Pens and I landed on the couch to do that and was asleep the moment the puck fell.

And I guess I actually fainted because I didn’t wake again until 8 a.m. So I got twelve hours of sleep.

And a blog demerit. Sorry folks …. but that means 2 posts today because I WILL meet my 365 post goal for 2014.

Dunce-cap

PS: My boys shut out the Pens! Even tho I missed it. WOOHOO GO STARS!

 

Scary movies have never really been my thing. As an adult anyway. As a kid I was always dying to see scary movies. Even though that was forbidden. Not because my parents were overprotective but because I was ten. Or seven.

The advertisements for “Rosemary’s Baby” horrified and mystified me at the same time. Was this woman actually the mother of some clawed spawn? To think such a thing could even be considered made me disinterested in motherhood while thinking exploring human gene splicing could be quite the neat way to spend some free time.

If this is the face you make when you look into the bassinet. Well you are just screwed.

If this is the face you make when you look into the bassinet, well you are just screwed.

I went to a slumber party and we wanted to watch scary movies. The mother in charge had much more lax movie watching rules than my own mother (or she was just insane) and handed us a Beta tape copy of “The Omen: The Final Conflict”. Yeah. Here’s a thought. Give a dozen fifth grade girls the chance to learn about Satan. I was really excited about this though because it was a scary movie! A few girls were out an hour in but I was riveted. And the scene where Damien sends the hounds after the priest. I actually had my first stirrings of what I would later learn was lust. (I still love Sam Neill because of it.)

This makes me feel a little evil. And a little sexy. And those dogs are SO CUTE!

This makes me feel a little evil. And a little sexy. And those dogs are SO CUTE!

They used to have weekend horror movies on some random channel and my mother said, “If they show ‘Fall of the House of Usher’ you can watch it.” I was so excited when it came on and I got to watch it. It was not as scary as I’d hoped. But the burying alive part. Yeah that was creepy. And I also became a huge fan of Vincent Price.  I’ve seen it a few times over the last decade and I appreciate the film a whole lot more than I did as a kid.

The Master

The Master

As an adult I’ve not really found myself lured to the “horror” flick, per se. Mainly because movies like “Hostel” (didn’t care if those kids got tortured) and “Mama” (had such promise at the beginning and just utterly failed) have disappointed me. And “The Blair Witch Project” (running through the woods screaming will never help you) was retarded. “Paranormal Activity” (should demon footprints really resemble a chicken’s??) nearly bored me to sleep.

I think I’m going to spend today watching the Final Conflict again. And enjoy a sexy Satan.

OH speaking of that. If you have a mental issue like me watch “The Prophecy” (it’s available on Netflix to watch instantly). It’s not a good movie. At all. But Christopher Walken is good in it (doy). And Viggo Mortensen plays Lucifer. Swoon worthy.

Am I going to hell for saying I'd go to hell if I got to hang out with someone who looks like this? For eternity.

Am I going to hell for saying I’d go to hell if I got to hang out with someone who looks like this? For eternity.

And now. On to the weekend. XOXO

 

Daylami won the 1999 Breeders Cup Turf in a performance I still think about often. As he left the field behind I was simply mystified. He was just so strong.

Daylami at liberty.

Daylami at liberty.

Powering home.

Powering home.

I posted yesterday about the horror of being a Dallas Stars fan this month. And was rewarded with a lovely win last night over Minnesota. LOVE a shut out. LOVE not one but two power play goals. LOVE a successful penalty shot.

Sick lil shot by Jordie Benn.

Sick lil shot by Jordie Benn.

It also makes me wonder if I sent good mojo to them by posting about it. The sports insanity of “am I jinxing” or “am I helping”. Before you know it you are wearing the same dirty shirt for every single game and your Hub is telling you to wash that goddamn thing or he’s going to burn it when you fall asleep.

If you think you are doing the team some good regardless of how dumb you have to keep it up. So my babies are off today and I’m celebrating our second (small choking sob) win in the month of January. Tomorrow we play the Maple Leafs. And um, question. Isn’t the plural of leaf actually leaves? Shouldn’t they be the Toronto Maple Leaves?

largeleaf

Also. Last night after 45 minutes of cardio (it sucked but I had to have it) in our workout room (which is currently trashed) I got this little video of Lily Bitch Cat attacking Kittie (again, don’t be confused. If you are just tuning in we have an actual cat. Lily Bitch Cat. I have a human kid. I call her Kittie.)