13

Jan 14

2014.013 (EDIT) Golden Globes ~or~ I Could Have Done A Better Job With The Seating Arrangement ~and~ Game of Thrones Trailer

I really think one of these would be awesome on my mantle.

I really think one of these would be awesome on my mantle.

Kittie and I complained until Hub begrudgingly allowed us to watch the Golden Globes. He said he was nether “a gay man or a teenage girl” and would watch something else in the bedroom. But since he was so busy throwing a fit about being forced into behaving like he was gay or having his period or whatever when Tina Fey and Amy Poehler started talking and thanked the “women and gay men” who were watching the show he triumphantly shouted, “SEE!” and then proceeded to watch the remainder of the awards with us.

I’m going to be kind of all over the place here and call out my favorite moments. Because were there a lot of really interesting moments. Mostly because at this point it’s all beginning to run together. I slept hard last night.

I want to start by saying that whomever was in charge of the layout of that room should absolutely be fired. Or at least given a sharp reprimand.  There was too many snakey and cluttered paths to the stage and whenever an ensemble cast and crew of twenty needed to stampede the stage it was a fucking hot mess. It would take these people entirely too long to get to the stage and I think at some point there were rest stops so that the elder members could take a break because hiking wasn’t really their thing. I suppose the service of food and booze results in the need for tables and somesuch but perhaps a bigger venue with a little more room and clear cut paths to the stage should be considered.  Not sure I need to ever see Michael Douglas try to navigate tables and stairs because the worry that he would fall and break a hip was a real concern. And why these broads insist on wearing hugely fluffy dresses and what not baffles me. It’s an accident waiting to happen when you have no choice but to clear an obstacle course to get your statue.

Now then….let’s talk about Matthew McConaughey. First, he’s awesome with his awesome Texas accent so he sounds just like 99% of the people I talk to every day and he was the one that most people had their money on for Slurry Drunk Speech. Yet he was likely the most sober on-stage star last night leading me to believe that he may just naturally sound somewhat wasted. Two thumbs up:

Alright, alright, alright!

Alright, alright, alright!

Cate Blanchett issued the most confusing statement of the night: “Thank you for plying me with vodka the way Judy Garland was probably plyed with barbiturates.” (sic….. I’m doing this from memory folks) Um Cate. Disrespectful. But you looked pretty.

If someone is force feeding you vodka you are just a lucky girl.

If someone is force feeding you vodka you are just a lucky girl.

Liam Neeson (who I can’t find a photo of actually on the stage at the Golden Globes so you have to just live with this picture) came out to present something and I was struck that he was tall. I never thought about it I guess but he seemed very incredibly tall and the Kittie announced about half way through his presentation that “I feel like he should do group readings, you know? He has a great voice.” Agreed, Miss Cat-Cat. He does give great voice and a group reading would be excellent.

I think I'd enjoy if he read me "One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish."

I think I’d enjoy it if he read me “One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish.”

Emma Thompson. I love you. That is all.

When I grow up I hope I'm her.

When I grow up I hope I’m her.

And I have to say that the entire goddamn Globe presentation was worth it for this insanity moment.

I’m informed by my good friend Eric that this is Edward Sharpe. And that he’s a dirty hippie. When he won for best original score (I think) and they train the camera to him and his girlfriend the only thing I could think of was “WHAT am I looking at?” I really don’t get off on making fun of people don’t care how you want to look but holy shit:

What…just what…what who why eyebrows hairtoopuffy what...

What…just what…what who why eyebrows hairtoopuffy what…

The hair on both is questionable. The eyebrows on his broad are hideous. And is she wearing a burial shroud? What the hell is that? Is it made partially of burlap? Just. Wow.

All in all I would say it was an amazing night interrupted by the preview of Game of Thrones season 4. WHY DO WE HAVE TO WAIT TIL APRIL? WHHHHHYYYYYYYYY?????

 

OK EDIT ON THE GOLDEN GLOBES:

Eric knows. I don't. FYI.

Eric knows. I don’t. FYI.

One Comment

  1. Can’t wait for GoT!!!

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