Mar 14

2014.047 The Risks of Being a Nerd ~or~ Speak Clearly, Han

You remember Michelle Miles from my post earlier this week, right? If not go check it out! We had lunch today and stuffed ourselves with Mexican food and talked about people we don’t like and generally enjoyed being the most awesome people there. The place was kind of empty so we were automatically the coolest ones. So now I smell like wood smoke and queso. Let me also pat myself on the back for not gorging myself. Usually I do and as I’m re-learning to eat and be healthy I have to remember to push the stupid plate away…which I did!

So I get back to the office and dove into the stuff I needed to wrap up before the end of the day and put The Empire Strikes Back into my computer for background noise. And then I hear the line that Luke looks strong enough to pull the ears off of a gundar. “What does a gundar look like anyway?” I think and am surprised this has never before crossed my mind. (I am a full time nerd.)

I guess he looks strong...

I guess he looks strong…

I have Google which, of course, means I can find anything anytime I want to. So I type “What does a gundar look like?”

This was an enormous mistake, folks.

This is an example of what I got (edited for content and size for the sake of your eyes and because I’m already going to have nightmares of some kind and ALSO the guy on the right is wearing a loin cloth {sort of} and it’s really hard to see but I did NOT POST nudity because, trust me, I cut that out and you don’t want to see it because it’s super duper horrifying and even cropping the photo made me feel ‘off’ and not in a good way):


No. Just... NO!

No. Just… NO!


I immediately message Hub:

ME: Why didn’t you warn me not to Google about random Star Wars creatures because I don’t know what the hell a “gundar” is but do not go looking for one.

HUB: Excuse me??

ME: Luke looks strong enough to pull the ears off a gundar so I went looking for one and I shouldn’t have. (sending him the link)

HUB: Nick.

ME: Well I don’t care what a “gundar” is or supposed to actually be because after that I’m just going to swear off Googling. In my mind I’m going to just imagine a gundar is a weird badly tempered rabbit. Cos we are talking about Luke.

HUB: Nick.

ME: Especially since he’s gotta be strong enough to pull its ears off which, frankly, is kind of mean. So this badly tempered rabbit must be really difficult to deal with.

HUB: NICK! Your first mistake is that it is an “gundarK”.

ME: Motherfucker! What??

HUB: Go try that one.

ME: I’m scared to.

HUB: I think you are safe on this one.

ME: (after Googling) OMG it’s a damn CHUPACABRA!!!!!!

HUB: Not really.

ME: It really kind of is except for the feet part.

HUB: Okay. I see where this is going and I gotta go. See you tonight.

Much more appealing.


Now that's what I'm talking about.

Now that’s what I’m talking about.

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