Jan 15

I Dream Insanely ~or~ Scientific REM Comedy

As if I needed any additional reasons to consider having an entire team of mental health professionals looking after me, I’ve begun to have these hilarious dreams that seem to like to involve complex scientific problems.

The first I like to call:

The Marines Make Accidental Dolphins

My Hub asked me to consult with him on a case involving a Marine. This gentleman was involved in some sort of accident while diving. We walk into this very elaborate laboratory (we’re wearing lab coats and everything) and Hub is telling me I don’t need the bunsen burner lighter thingie that was in my pocket but I ignored him.

There is a very scared looking man in pair of spandex bike shorts with EKG electrodes in random spots on his body (why on the calf?) and Hub is talking very intensely with the people standing around him.

“Okay, kid, get in,” Hub says to the scared Marine guy.

And he turns and dives into this swimming pool (don’t all high end laboratories have indoor swimming pools) and WA LA‚Ķ. he’s a shiny black dolphin swimming and jumping around the pool.


Then we have the answer to all our prayers:

Sheep Hold the Answer for Anti-Aging

I walk into a lab where Hub and Kittie greet me at the door with big smiles. “We have solved human aging,” Kittie tells me. I’m very excited about this. Aging sucks. Hub tells me, “We have isolated a chromosome¬†in sheep. It’s very hard to get to as it lives in the layer of skin that is right up against the muscle. Here, look.” And I look through a microscope at some cells. Kittie explains that when combined with a lotion and placed on the skin you will never age there again. No wrinkles, no age spots. Ever. I ask what it’s called and Hub tells me, “Well it’s the B.A. Chromosome.”

I straight face him. “What did you say?”

He looks confused, as if he can’t understand why he needs to repeat it. “The B.A. Chromosome.”

I start laughing and say, “You named it the BA Chromosome????? BAAAA….. BAAAAAAAAA.”

And now I’m bleating like a sheep and everyone is looking at me like I’m crazy and I’m laughing and baa-ing.

I really kind of hope these are the sheep that have the chromosome.

I really kind of hope these are the sheep that have the chromosome.

When I wake up and tell Hub about these dreams he just shakes his head and walks away. I guess I’m not getting a laboratory. Or a lab coat. Pity.




  1. I’m buying you a lab coat for your birthday.

    1. Voodoo says:


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