20

Aug 15

Snore Abuse or I really need to be able to hear you sleeping gawdamit

This is me at work today.

This is me at work today.

 

WELL last night I could NOT fall asleep….. At midnight I was mad and then I realized that Hub was either dead or had hit a magic spot on his tower of pillow because he was still and utterly silent. So of course I then laid there trying to detect if he was breathing and I was concerned that if he was actually non-snore sleeping and I woke him he’d be mad and I didn’t want him to be mad but I also didn’t want him to be dead and I wondered how long I could lay awake next to a dead guy without the police really questioning my intentions and then I was trying to decide the best way to ascertain vital signs. A check of his pulse was out because it’d wake him up and then I thought maybe I should get out of bed and go to his side of the bed (because crossing the tower of pillow is akin to scaling Kilimanjaro and that would be a noisy and aerobic affair to which I wanted no part) and then I wondered if I could just violently flop around in the bed just enough to get him to react to me and I wound up going “YOU OKAY?!” really loud and he jumped awake and said, “YES WTF?” and then he was up until 4.

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